Forgiveness – What it is NOT


1.  Forgiveness is not forced.

It is impossible to force yourself to forgive someone when all you can feel within you is seething rage at the mere thought of the person or the event. Real forgiveness comes from within. It comes at a point in time when the mind and body are ready to ‘let go’ of the events that caused the bitterness and resentment. It is possible to motivate yourself to move yourself towards forgiveness.

2. Forgiveness is not to  ‘hold on’.

Forgiveness in its truest sense is ‘letting go’. Letting go has just one known meaning,  and that is – LETTING GO. Once you ‘let go’ There is no trace of grudge or ill will left to hold on to. There is nothing left to bemoan or cry about. True forgiveness is to LET GO and move on in YOUR life.

3. Forgiveness does not counter accuse or justify.

True forgiveness is not all about the other. Neither is true forgiveness all about the self.  True forgiveness does not accuse the other; neither does it justify the self. True forgiveness is that neutral space in mind where there is magnanimity towards the painful event, towards the other and towards oneself. In this vast, magnanimous, neutral space all there is, is a sense of understanding and acceptance – Understanding and acceptance for the other and understanding and acceptance for the self. A true understanding of limitations of the other and a true understanding of the limitations of the self. Once there nothing can stop the exhilarating liberation of forgiveness.

4. Forgiveness is not born through or raised out of anger.

Absolutely true!! Forgiveness lives diametrically opposite anger. They do not make good pals yet they both have a rightful place in our emotional makeup. Forgiveness and anger co-exist, each for its own specific purpose. Where there is anger there is no forgiveness and where there is forgiveness – there can be no anger.

5. Forgiveness does not expect anything in return.

Forgiveness is for-giving. It may not always mean for-getting.  When you forgive someone, you are definitely NOT choosing to go into full-blown amnesia about what happened. Memory would retain the picture of the event that caused the pain. What definitely changes is the intensity of the emotional pain when you 1) forgive 2) let go 3) move on. You experience freedom that you have never felt before. You know 1) what had happened 2) you chose to let go of the hurt  3) in the bargain you chose to let go of the pain 4) you discover the spot within yourself that is magnanimous beyond belief 5) you forgive AND 6) You free yourself forever of pain.


Wishing you a fabulous day ahead…filled with Lots of Love & an abundance of Peace


© Copyright 2012. Tranquil Space Limited. All Rights Reserved


5 thoughts on “Forgiveness – What it is NOT

  1. You are so right. Once one has reached that place of surrender to all that is, there is nothing to forgive. Whatever has happened is simply part of the dance between us all in which we discover what our own feelings are.
    I l;ove Miguel Ruiz’s Second Agreement in his book ‘The Four Agreements’.where he says:
    ‘Don’t take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality,their own dreams. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering. This has pulled me beyond the angst I would feel so unnecessarily.. Warm wishes valerie


  2. Dear Tonya, Thank you for being here…Thank you for your very kind words and thank you for being a part of Motivational Thoughts/Motivation Unlimited.

    I think you liked the note on ‘being strong’ because strong is the person your are. Even though at the moment, you may just see that part of you that you call ‘weak’…you KNOW that deep inside you there is a strong person who has come so far in life and has dealt with the difficulties that you faced on the way. There are plenty of times when we go into a loop of feeling helpless and ‘weak’. We all do. The fabulous bit is when we can recognize (like you do) that we are making a choice. When we become aware of that, many changes start happening inside us. Tonya, You have ‘chosen’ to be aware of the loop that you are into at the moment…and in my opinion awareness is the biggest blessing to have. I would like you to also be aware that you can change the ‘choice’ you are making and turn it into a very positive ‘choice’ for yourself and your beautiful daughter. You can choose to look at yourself as a strong and courageous person who makes positive choices in life.

    Thank you very much for sharing your thoughts with me. sending you big hugs from Munich.



  3. Dear Rachnasirtaj,
    My name is Tonya, and I have read some of you Motivational thoughts and It really is a pleasing and comforting feeling to know that there is always going to be another try, another love. I really liked the Being Strong one. For I have been making a chose to be weak and do nothing but lay around and feel sorry for myself. I really have a nice life with a beautiful young daughter who should have a good role model. If I want a change I must make that change! Boy it is not easy..For today thanks to you and your postings I will chose to be free, chose to live in this moment. Thank you… Love & Peace to you as well.

    Tonya .


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