A beautiful blog post by Mridula Kaul, a dear friend and a fabulous human being – kind, gentle, funny, spontaneous & innovative. She thinks and feels from her heart and manages to convert those thoughts and feelings to beautiful words – I am very proud to add her writing to my blog. This is the second write-up that Mridula has graciously shared on my blog.
Mridula, a versatile netizen, is a resident of UK.
People often say they want to be free. This is the biggest hoax of all time. It’s a beautiful lie packaged in the most enticing gossamer. We don’t want to be free. We want chains. Because chains create a bond with people, material possessions, emotions and memories even. We don’t want to break away from those connections, that would require courage and we’re not really built to be courageous, normally – well, normal people under normal circumstances don’t need to display courage unless they’re faced with extraordinary situations. So we don’t want to be free or courageous (except when it’s founded in a deep-rooted, all-consuming desire for something that just can’t be ignored – more on that in my next post). Happy days! Anything else we don’t want? Of course – misery! So it stands to reason that if we don’t want misery, we must want the opposite of it. And yet most normal people are anything but happy. It’s almost like they find a vicarious pleasure in counting all the things that make their life sad or difficult.
And then there were three – freedom, courage and happiness, we’re having none of these bad boys. Crikey, so what do we want? After much deliberation (many bottles of alcohol were tested to prove this theory), I’ve concluded that ultimately, we just want to escape reality. Because that is ordinary and no one in their right mind wants ordinary. Like good, evolved, migratory animals, we plan a holiday to exotic or not so exotic locales, only the reason is not so much to escape dismal weather conditions but the drudgery of life. If we can’t, we watch movies that transport us to those locales and make us believe we could look like someone special so we then go and buy attire based on current fashion trends and wear make up that makes us look like our favourite celebrities. We eat (or would certainly like to) in restaurants that the rich and famous dine in, reading books about things we would love to do but probably never will. We make bucket lists because we ‘only live once’. We look for perfect excitement outside to make up for what’s missing in our imperfect relationships.
I get it. I get the need for us to do this. What I don’t understand is the extent to which we inconvenience ourselves to get this brief respite from reality. I say brief because like all good, migratory animals, we do make our way back ‘home’ even if that home is far from ideal. It might be out of habit or perhaps, because we know, deep inside that the migratory flight doesn’t have the permanence or comfort we seek. So I say, let’s not be ashamed of celebrating the ordinary. Why lament that walk because you don’t have a car – enjoy the great outdoors instead and revel in the post exercise after-glow; bemoan not that small, quirky home – it is much-loved and sees conversations, happiness and warmth in as much abundance if not more, as the ten bedroom mansion you see on your walk home everyday; be grateful for those wrinkles, they prove you’ve lived, loved and laughed. And if all this ordinariness feels good, makes your eyes twinkle and creates memories that will long outlast what you are trying to escape, then that for me, is extraordinary.
– Mridula Kaul
Wishing you a fabulous day ahead…filled with Lots of Love & an abundance of Peace.
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