And just like that the dream shattered.
Even though she had suspected for a while that it would, the sound of the crash was louder than she had expected.
Here is the thing about broken dreams. They are not easy to deal with. They crash and they scatter all over, creating a big mess that needs to be swept up. Sometimes the saving grace is that people understands this particular sorrow of loss. In reality they may have helped bring on the process of shattering or even actually taken over and shattered the dream. But when they see you standing in silence and and looking at those scattered pieces, tears streaming down your cheeks – they sometimes do understands. At times you also get lucky enough to have everyone step back and allow you the time to mourn the loss.
In this respect, she got lucky. The world stepped back and allowed her the space to absorb the sight of those little bits and pieces that her dream had shattered into. Thru the haze of her misty eyes, she could see her reflection, her ambitions, her plans and her future in each one of those tiny pieces. Potentially this would have been a good time to sink into a depression or have a nervous breakdown – like the books suggested or the umpteen number of movies portrayed. It would be easy and everyone would actually understand. She could withdraw from all the pain that surrounded her being, and retreat into the gentle white softness of silence.
She felt alone and unsupported. It seemed like everyone had given up on her. She felt completely written off – devoid of potential or a possible future. There is something about the lack of ‘show of support’. If it does not happen at the right time – it becomes ineffective, like medication that has passed its expiry date. In her case, the lack of ‘words of support’ gave rise to a silence within her being, that she found strangely peaceful. It was a space where she could experience and see everyone as they were. No layers of words to cover up their real thoughts – no pretense of love. Just plain indifference that she found easy to accept. This actually seemed really nice. She liked the feeling. It was akin to wearing no makeup – which she disliked wearing. It felt like being alone in nature, under the sky – in her minuscule spot in the universe. A spot that belonged to her.
And then, in that silent space, something magnificent happened. Amidst the sounds of her dream crashing and reverberating loudly – there were ripples of a stark realization that echoed into infinite loops, through the eternal vastness of the universe.
She had not yet given up on herself – not yet.
She had not written herself off
This is what mattered.
This is ALL that mattered.
Author – ©Rachna Sharma Sirtaj
Wishing you a fabulous day ahead…filled with Lots of Love and an abundance of Peace.
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