You never really understand a person (2)…

Part 2 of You never really Understand a person


And then there are times when you climb into the skin of another, wear their shoes and even feel where the shoe pinches – because you see, you both have the same contours on your feet. But you still do not understand why the other person behaved the way they did. So you take the advise that you previously read and imbibed. You do not try to understand them any more but work from that deep place of love within you and accept them. You expand your being and embrace the side of them that is hurting you so. You think the pain will ebb and become more bearable. You wait for it to subside. you wait and wait but it does not. Well, actually sometimes it does ebb and sometimes it does not. After all you are just as human as them.

So now what do you do?

Do you keep expanding and feeling the pain and the confusion as to why the pain does not go away when you are accepting someone from a place of love? Or do you put away your pain and obliterate it from your mind and your being?

You don’t do either.

What you do instead is – this time you understand yourself and look at yourself with the kindness that you would bestow upon another human being in pain. You understand your own self and feel love for this vulnerable person, that is you, who expanded themselves out of their comfort zone and out of their pain to embrace someone who hurt them. You did your best. You looked beyond their capacity to hurt and accepted them as they were. It did not change them or their capacity to hurt.

So now you look at yourself with the same kindness, love and empathy that you would feel, when you looked at your child with scraped knees and big large tears in those beautiful innocent eyes. This was an experience that taught you so much about them and about you.

It taught you to expand yourself and accept another without understanding them. It also brought you face to face with a beautiful new aspect within yourself. It got you in touch with you innermost depths and made you do something that is often not easy for us to do – To accept someone without understanding them.You did it. You held on.

Now it is time to take care of yourself.

You evaluate the pain and the consequences of this pain. You assess the other person and see them for the individual that they are. Do not cut corners. Do not give them a discount. Assess them and then choose if you would like to stay with the pain that you are feeling deep within your soul or would you like to let them go.

If you have chosen to let them go, you have made the right decision. Trust your instinct and let them go. Move away. Distance yourself.

Let go. 


You have done your part. Now it is time to heal the injured ‘you’.

  Let go of the sadness and the sorrow. The space that is emptied in your soul can be now filled with energy and brilliance of yourself and of those who really love you and care for you. Look around, find and acknowledge those who love you and never want to inflict pain upon you. Feel their love and energize yourself with genuineness and warmth.

Give yourself the time to feel. Give yourself the time to heal.

Be patient. Be generous. Be kind to you. Be all that you would be, towards another who was in pain.

Stay lodged … Stay quiet.
Take time to recover.
Take as long as you need to.
The rain will stop.
The howling winds will cease.
The sun will shine again.

And you will rise and bloom.


© Rachna Sharma Sirtaj


Related reading : Octagon of letting go

Picture Credit – Internet

Wishing you a fabulous day ahead…filled with Lots of Love & an abundance of Peace.

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