Have there been times when you have caught yourself in a situation, you did not want to be in – because you agreed to do something that you reeeaaalllly did not want to do? Have you found yourself gritting your teeth and fuming mad with yourself for your inability to say a clear NO ? Have you found yourself stuck in a situation, that you promised yourself will not happen again, once again because you could not say NO?
I know I have been there. I know how awfully tough it was for me to say NO. I know how miserable I felt and how many I did not say NO, just to avoid looking at the disappointment in the eyes of others. I also know how much I struggled to keep up any promise that I had made, because I could not say NO.
That was long ago.
I have a come a long way and despite an odd instance now and then…it is fairly easy for me to evaluate the situation and consider the pros and cons before I make a commitment. It is not difficult for me to say NO when I feel deprived of time or resources on my part to undertake a commitment. It is simple if I trust the other person to understand my limitations…for they usually do.
It takes time and an awful lot of work on oneself to understand that when you say NO and mean NO, it is clear communication. You saying NO does not turn you into a bad person or an uncaring, hard hard-hearted monster nor does it reduce the other person into a pile of helpless crumbling rubble. It is advisable to trust the other person to understand your limitations or inability to make a commitment. Your inability or unwillingness to undertake a project or to do a favour to someone does not in any way mean that you do not care enough. Your inability to undertake a project or to do a favour to someone just reflects your inability to do so at that point in time. The fact is that when you clearly communicate that inability, it helps the other person to work out another solution without being wrapped in your unclear fog of a ‘Yes…No…Maybe’ loop.
Below are some thoughts that might benefit you, as you read them. Read them as often as you need to. Read them till your soul remembers the magnificence of being. Read them until your heart believes these thoughts and the expanse of freedom that they provide you with. Read them aloud…read them silently…read them until you and these words become a part of you.
It’s OK to say ‘No’.
It’s OK to stand up for myself.
It’s OK to terminate a situation if I feel disrespected.
It’s OK to trust my inner voice that seems to know more than what my eyes can see.
I respect people around me & understand, that they have a right to say ‘No’; a right to stand up for themselves and to terminate a relationship or a situation if they feel disrespected.
There is just one set of rules.