You never really understand a person (2)…

Part 2 of You never really Understand a person


And then there are times when you climb into the skin of another, wear their shoes and even feel where the shoe pinches – because you see, you both have the same contours on your feet. But you still do not understand why the other person behaved the way they did. So you take the advise that you previously read and imbibed. You do not try to understand them any more but work from that deep place of love within you and accept them. You expand your being and embrace the side of them that is hurting you so. You think the pain will ebb and become more bearable. You wait for it to subside. you wait and wait but it does not. Well, actually sometimes it does ebb and sometimes it does not. After all you are just as human as them.

So now what do you do?

Do you keep expanding and feeling the pain and the confusion as to why the pain does not go away when you are accepting someone from a place of love? Or do you put away your pain and obliterate it from your mind and your being?

You don’t do either.

What you do instead is – this time you understand yourself and look at yourself with the kindness that you would bestow upon another human being in pain. You understand your own self and feel love for this vulnerable person, that is you, who expanded themselves out of their comfort zone and out of their pain to embrace someone who hurt them. You did your best. You looked beyond their capacity to hurt and accepted them as they were. It did not change them or their capacity to hurt.

So now you look at yourself with the same kindness, love and empathy that you would feel, when you looked at your child with scraped knees and big large tears in those beautiful innocent eyes. This was an experience that taught you so much about them and about you.

It taught you to expand yourself and accept another without understanding them. It also brought you face to face with a beautiful new aspect within yourself. It got you in touch with you innermost depths and made you do something that is often not easy for us to do – To accept someone without understanding them.You did it. You held on.

Now it is time to take care of yourself.

You evaluate the pain and the consequences of this pain. You assess the other person and see them for the individual that they are. Do not cut corners. Do not give them a discount. Assess them and then choose if you would like to stay with the pain that you are feeling deep within your soul or would you like to let them go.

If you have chosen to let them go, you have made the right decision. Trust your instinct and let them go. Move away. Distance yourself.

Let go. 


You have done your part. Now it is time to heal the injured ‘you’.

  Let go of the sadness and the sorrow. The space that is emptied in your soul can be now filled with energy and brilliance of yourself and of those who really love you and care for you. Look around, find and acknowledge those who love you and never want to inflict pain upon you. Feel their love and energize yourself with genuineness and warmth.

Give yourself the time to feel. Give yourself the time to heal.

Be patient. Be generous. Be kind to you. Be all that you would be, towards another who was in pain.

Stay lodged … Stay quiet.
Take time to recover.
Take as long as you need to.
The rain will stop.
The howling winds will cease.
The sun will shine again.

And you will rise and bloom.


© Rachna Sharma Sirtaj


Related reading : Octagon of letting go

Picture Credit – Internet

Wishing you a fabulous day ahead…filled with Lots of Love & an abundance of Peace.

© Copyright 2017. Tranquil Space Limited. All Rights Reserved

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Be the change you wish to see

Lost in thoughts


(This post targets the hatred and mistrust that the Muslim community is facing all over the world – in view of the Paris attack. There were seven coordinated terror attacks in Paris carried out by militants, killing at least 129 people.)


It is saddening to hear generalizations that are being made, about entire communities, based on the ugly actions of some.

In times of crisis such as these, it would help to remember that we have been blessed with intelligent minds (I know I know I am generalizing here) that are capable of understanding a simple fact that – terrorism is based in minds – killing innocent people in Paris, Lebanon, Iraq or lynching a person on the streets because he or she went against your beliefs, raping a little child, because that child was available or abducting girls in Nigeria – each one of those qualify as terrorist activities.

Terrorism is terrorism, in all its heinous, wretched, evil forms. It is a disease of the worst kind and needs to be dealt with and eradicated. No terrorist should be allowed to go scot-free for killing and terrorizing innocent people.

However, terrorism has nothing to do with those innocent others in the community or race who by no choice of theirs, happen to have been born in the same religion/race/community/caste as that of the terrorists. All Muslims cannot be blamed for the horrendous criminal deed of Isis/Daesh…just as all Hindus cannot be blamed for the lynchings that took place because someone happened to eat beef nor can all Buddhists be blamed for torturing and killing Muslims in Myanmar or all Christians be blamed for the Wisconsin Sikh Temple massacre.

Terrorism is a cowardly, destructive instinct that hides behind religion, beliefs and a sense of misplaced entitlement. Anders Behring Breivik, KKK, Al Quaida, Daesh and many more like them are terrorists – All Christians, all Atheists, all Muslims are NOT. They cannot and should not be condemned because some terrorists belong to the same religion of community as them.

Using our beautiful, intelligent minds we can work towards finding solutions instead of spewing hatred over social media. Let us think before we speak or write on facebook/twitter and elsewhere and let us pledge to think twice before we question people and their loyalty. Social Media is free but our words  have value. It is completely upto us to make that value negative or positive.

Let’s choose to be tolerant, aware, magnanimous human beings just as we want our children to be – Let us model the behaviour not just for the times that we are in but also for our children so they can learn and grow up to be large-hearted, magnanimous loving people who can distinguish between a diseased terrorist and a religion/community in which the terrorist happened to have been born.

Today there is pain and trauma that all of us are dealing with – some directly and some indirectly. Many of us are broken-hearted with the violence that took place and the beautiful lives that were lost due to that horrifying, mindless violence – Not just in Paris but in so many parts of the world.

Awareness, Kindness, Understanding and Love might just be the right place to start the healing process.

“Be the change you wish to see”


– Rachna


Wishing you a fabulous day ahead…filled with Lots of Love & an abundance of Peace.

© Copyright 2015. Tranquil Space Limited. All Rights Reserved


View all of Rachna’s previously published articles – on LinkedIn

Be the change you wish to see

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Are you…

Disclaimer: This poem is not about me ( I wish it was, but it is not). It is based on feelings that ‘I felt’ when I saw a photograph of a man with his shades on – It was a powerful picture that spoke volumes (to me). This poem is an expression of my perception of his ‘probable’ feelings. And as we all know perception are just that – perceptions !!! But the picture moved me enough to help me create this little poem reflecting – resignation, annoyance, pride, courage, determination, helplessness as well as hope of self-perseverance. For that I am very grateful.

man eyes

You said you wanted to see my eyes

Are you brave enough?
To look into them
Without shuffling on your feet?
Can you bear to see the pain
And not squirm
Or fidget with your scarf?

Will you flinch when you see the raw anger
That oozes out…seeps
Simply because it’s tired of raging
Do you have the nerve to face
Your own sadness
Reflected in my eyes?

Can you stand quietly,
And not drop words
Of sympathy
Like coins in an empty box?
Nor look away
Because you cannot bear to feel my pain

If your answer is – Yes
Then I will undress my eyes
And let yours see thru mine.


Picture Credit – From the Internet – Hugh Laurie (Edited by Rachna Sharma Sirtaj)

Wishing you a fabulous day ahead…filled with Lots of Love & an abundance of Peace.

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Pain of Betrayal

If your heart is trained to look for love & honesty, that is what you will you will find, even in a person who is considered untrustworthy, not-loving (unloving) and not-honest (dishonest) by the rest of the world. You will close your eyes and ears to what others say and accept this person until the rug is pulled from under your feet. You see, that person true to their nature, cannot stop themselves from using their dishonesty against you. Of course this is based on the premise that, you have provided the perfect ground for that behaviour, by being loving and trusting and not taking note of the discrepancies that your logical mind might have picked up.

So. It happened. It was bound to happen. You were hurt. Your heart broke. Now get up…dust yourself off and look ahead.

Forgive yourself. Commend your trustworthy, loving, compassionate heart – for there are plenty of people out there, who appreciate your love and love you back for being the genuine, loving & kind person that you are.

Feel the freedom – because this person, who hurt you, and many others who are similar to this person – will not be able to take you for a ride again, based on your trusting and loving nature. You have been imparted a lesson, a proper life lesson, if you will allow it to be so.

Use this lesson and the pain that you feel deep within, steer you clear of these individuals…not with hatred or vengeance but with compassion & non judgement. Compassion, because they need compassion and you have it in plenty. Non-judgement, because you are no-one to judge, what made them into who they have become.

After the pain of betrayal has subsided, and the bobbing emotions have steadied – put yourself in that place of love that you know exists deep within you. Distance yourself from the painful experience. Allow forgiveness to flow.

It helps to remember – they cannot help their nature – just like you cannot help yours.

Send them blessings (from afar) – Keep calm and carry on.


Wishing you a fabulous day ahead…filled with Lots of Love & an abundance of Peace.


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#lifelesson #lessonlearnt #keepcalm #dishonesty #heartbroken #life #love #relationships


Over the Edge…


“THE EDGE, there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.” –  Hunter S. Thompson

The traditional view of ‘going over the edge’ is usually that moment when one absolutely loses ‘it’… has no control over circumstances and self. Those who revert back from that point are determined, resilient souls – definitely very fortunate.

There is however another view of ‘going over the edge’. ‘Going over the edge’ does not have to or always results in the negative. Sometimes going over the edge gives us a new perspective and an insight into our own strength that resides within ourselves. Sometimes going over the edge shouts out loud and says – ‘Hey I made it !!! I survived. I came to the end of all that I knew I was capable of, but I kept going…Even though I was filled with fear and thought I lost ‘it’ … I kept walking – went over the edge … and SURVIVED !!!”

In both the views however, ‘where’ the edge is, is inexplicable…Each persons perception and definition of the edge is different, subjective and unique.

“Come to the edge, he said.
They said: We are afraid.
Come to the edge, he said.
They came.
He pushed them and they flew.”

Guillaume Apollinaire (1880-1918)




Wishing you a fabulous day ahead…filled with Lots of Love & an abundance of Peace


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Wishing you a fabulous day ahead…filled with Lots of Love & an abundance of Peace


© Copyright 2014. Tranquil Space Limited. All Rights Reserved


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It’s okay to be at a place of struggle…




Wishing you a fabulous day ahead…filled with Lots of Love & an abundance of Peace


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Don’t let this world make you bitter.


A chance to grow…

New Being Human Collections18
Universe has a way of taking care of our needs.

Most of us have experienced times in our lives when we have felt beaten down to the bone, been unfairly accused, unjustly spoken about, felt rejected, abandoned and humiliated by those we love dearly. The pain is excruciating and deep – mostly because people who we ‘love’ carried out this painful behaviour.

In our journey of emotional & spiritual growth, it is important to understand that people who indulge in that behaviour and more are perhaps the best catalysts in our lives for us to learn the soul – lessons of acceptance, unconditional love and patience.

If we understand their role in our lives, then we would also understand that they are here to teach us acceptance of the human being in them, despite their behaviour. They provide us with an opportunity to learn to love them as they are – however hard a task that might be. They also provide us an alternate or complementary opportunity to stand up for our selves as and when required.

When we understand their role in our lives and their contribution to our emotional growth, we are able to look at these souls with a heart filled with love and understanding. We begin to understand that they are unaware of how their behaviour affects us or anyone else for that matter. How can we possibly hold anger or misgiving against people who are saying things or displaying behaviour that is based in total unawareness? How does one stay angry with someone who is completely oblivious of the effect their behaviour is having on others?

Having said that, It is to be remembered that we cannot and must not absolve them of their responsibility for their behaviour. Words and actions never form on the tongue. They are born out of a thought process. When someone is obnoxious, rude or plain uncaring in their words and actions towards us, obviously they have made a choice to be that way. They had a choice to be rude, obnoxious, and hurtful OR to be silent (in their actions and words). They had a choice and they made a choice. For example: We have a choice 1) to be furious with their behaviour and retaliate or break- up with them 2) we have a choice to understand their role in our lives and look at the positive outcome of such relationships 3) we have a choice to ignore them, their behaviour and carry on as before.

Today we are choosing – ‘choice number 2’.

Every choice we make is followed by the consequences of that choice. Sometimes the consequences are thought thru and sometimes they are not. Either ways consequences loom large on the horizon of every single action we take. The fact that these people chose to be hurtful makes them responsible for the consequences of their actions. Each one of us has a choice to act in a certain way – whatever the situation and each one of us is responsible – for the consequences of the choice that we made. I know I am.

They choose to be hurtful and oblivious of effect of their actions, we choose to be understanding of their behaviours – whilst experiencing emotional and spiritual growth, and learning to safeguard ourselves.

Loving and accepting, those who hurt us with their pain inflicting words and hurtful actions, is our choice…similarly we also have a choice to limit our interactions with them to safeguard our boundaries from getting breached each time we interact with them.


You owe that to you and I owe the same to me.

As balanced we might be as individuals, whatever professions we might belong to, at the end of the day each one of us is a human being, encompassed with human emotions and fallibility. Just like a teacher may not know all answers all the time, a beautician may have a sudden attack of acne or have a bad hair day, an artist may feel completely deprived of creativity and a therapist may feel completely out of the loop with emotions running amok, there can be enough and more storms that rage within a human heart that are capable of imbalancing a person – whatever the reason.

Understanding , acceptance and love is the core that we are all made of. It’s an honour to find that core and work from it as a base for our day to day lives. It’s wonderful to understand those who inflict pain upon us through their behaviour, but it is also marvelous to understand our need to safeguard ourselves by understanding and limiting the toxic interactions.

As I said at the beginning of this post, Universe has a way of taking care of our needs – for the universe never abandons its child. This morning as I looked around to find a quote for the readers on my Facebook page – this is what I chanced upon…something that was hidden in my archives and something that speaks loud and clear to each one of us – providing us with the required permissions and affirming our rights in the gentlest ways possible.

“You don’t need anyone’s affection or approval in order to be good enough. When someone rejects or abandons or judges you, it isn’t actually about you. It’s about them and their own insecurities, limitations, and needs, and you don’t have to internalize that. Your worth isn’t contingent upon other people’s acceptance of you – it’s something inherent. You exist, and therefore, you matter. You’re allowed to voice your thoughts and feelings. You’re allowed to assert your needs and take up space. You’re allowed to hold onto the truth that who you are is exactly enough. And you’re allowed to remove anyone from your life who makes you feel otherwise.”

― Daniell Koepke


Need I say more?


©Rachna (Author)

Wishing you a day filled with Lots of Love & an Abundance of Peace

© Copyright 2014. Tranquil Space Limited. All Rights Reserved
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