Universe has a way of taking care of our needs.
Most of us have experienced times in our lives when we have felt beaten down to the bone, been accused unfairly, spoken about in an unjust manner, felt rejected, dejected, abandoned and humiliated by those we love dearly. The pain is excruciating and deep – mainly because in our perception, those we who we ‘love’ carried out this painful behaviour.
In our journey of emotional & spiritual growth, it is important to understand that people who indulge in that behaviour and more, are perhaps the best catalysts in our lives for us to learn the soul – lessons of acceptance, unconditional love and patience.
If we understand their role in our lives, then we would also understand that they are here to teach us acceptance of the ‘human’ in them, despite their behaviour. They provide us with an opportunity to learn to love them as they are – however hard a task that might be. They also provide us an alternate or complementary opportunity to stand up for our selves as and when required.
When we understand their role in our lives and in their contribution to our emotional growth, we are able to look at these souls with hearts filled with love and understanding. We begin to understand that most likely, they are unaware of how their behaviour affects us or anyone else for that matter. How can we possibly hold anger or misgiving against people who are saying things or displaying behaviour that is based in total unawareness? How does one stay angry with someone who is completely oblivious of the effect their behaviour is having on others?
Having said that, it is to be remembered that we cannot and must not absolve them of their responsibility for their behaviour. Words and actions never form on the tongue. They are born out of a thought process. When someone is obnoxious, rude or plain uncaring in their words and actions towards us, obviously they have made a choice to be that way. They had a choice to be rude, obnoxious, and hurtful OR to be silent (in their actions and words). They had a choice and they made a choice. Similarly we have a choice 1) to be furious with their behaviour and retaliate and/or break- up with them 2) we have a choice to understand their role in our lives and look at the positive outcome of such relationships 3) we also have a choice to ignore them, their behaviour and carry on as before.
In this article I am choosing to go along with choice # 2.
Every choice we make is followed by the consequences of that choice. Sometimes we think thru the consequences and sometimes we don’t. Either ways consequences loom large on the horizon of every single action we take. The fact that someone chose to be hurtful makes them responsible for the consequences of their actions. Each one of us has a choice to act in a certain way – whatever the situation. Each one of us is responsible – for the consequences of the choice that we made. I know I am.
They choose to be hurtful and oblivious of effect of their actions, we choose to be understanding of their behaviours – whilst experiencing emotional and spiritual growth, and learning to safeguard ourselves.
Loving and accepting people who hurt us with their pain-inflicting words and hurtful actions, is our choice…similarly we also have a choice to limit our interactions with them to safeguard our boundaries from getting breached each time we interact with them.
You owe that to you and I owe the same to me.
As balanced we might be as individuals, whatever professions we might belong to, at the end of the day each one of us is a human being, encompassed with human emotions and fallibility. Just like a teacher may not know all answers all the time, a beautician may have a sudden attack of acne or have a bad hair day and an artist may feel completely deprived of creativity – there can be enough and more storms that rage within a human heart that are capable of creating an imbalance within a person – whatever the reason.
Understanding , acceptance and love are at the core of that we are all made of.
It’s our duty and our honour to find that core and work from it as a base for our day-to-day lives. When we come from love, understanding and acceptance – all battles dissolve. All that is left and surrounds us is peace and tranquility. We have started out on the path of letting go of addictive ‘needs’ and ‘wants’. We still have needs and wants but without the addictive factor that makes them rule our lives. It’s wonderful to understand those who inflict pain upon us through their behaviour, but it is also marvelous to understand our need to safeguard ourselves by understanding and limiting the toxic interactions.
As I said at the beginning of this post, Universe has a way of taking care of our needs – for the universe never abandons its child.
This morning as I looked around to find a quote for the readers on my Facebook page – this is what I chanced upon…something that was hidden in my archives and something that speaks loud and clear to each one of us – providing us with the required permissions and affirming our rights in the gentlest ways possible.
“You don’t need anyone’s affection or approval in order to be good enough. When someone rejects or abandons or judges you, it isn’t actually about you. It’s about them and their own insecurities, limitations, and needs, and you don’t have to internalize that. Your worth isn’t contingent upon other people’s acceptance of you – it’s something inherent. You exist, and therefore, you matter. You’re allowed to voice your thoughts and feelings. You’re allowed to assert your needs and take up space. You’re allowed to hold onto the truth that who you are is exactly enough. And you’re allowed to remove anyone from your life who makes you feel otherwise.”
― Daniell Koepke
Need I say more?
Wishing you a fabulous day ahead…filled with Lots of Love & an abundance of Peace.
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